She was woman looking for a Casual Encounter; I was a man looking to lose my virginity. We were a match made in heaven.
Around midnight there was a knock on the door and my heart began to race.
I took one final look in the mirror. My reflection was nothing more than a 37-year-old boy. By tomorrow morning, it would be the reflection of a man.
I opened the front door and there she stood; blonde, curvy, and riddled with osteoporosis.
She entered the living room and I helped her to remove her coat. I threw it on the floor and asked her if she would like a tour of the apartment.
"Just the bedroom," she said with a smile, revealing a mouth full of braces.
Jackpot.
We made our way into my room and wasted no time getting down to business. I'm talking serious hugging and kissing.
"You smell nice," she said. "What kind of cologne is that?"
"My mother's perfume," I cooed.
As we continued to fool around, my penis began to grow erect, which I assumed to be a miracle. It's been years since I've maintained an erection without the assistance of Viagra, but tonight I was swollen up like a carrot stick. (I later found out the swelling was due to an allergic reaction to a spider bite).
She slid her hands down to my waist, and I could tell by the look in her eye that she was pleased.
"Is that a cucumber in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
I repositioned her hand from my cucumber to my penis.
"Can you feel its heart beat?" I whispered.
She could.
At this point I grew tired of foreplay. It was time to make a baby.
I watched her as she seductively removed her blouse, followed by her bra, revealing some boobs. They had nipples and everything. Just like in the pictures.
"Now it's your turn!"
I looked her dead in the eye and began to remove my mittens with my teeth. Once my hands were free, I began to unbutton my winter coat. Then came the sweatpants. That's all I was wearing.
She made her way to my bed and beckoned for me to join her. This was one invitation that I would be sure to RSVP for. Sexually...with my dick.
I laid beside her and we began rounding the bases, starting at first, and then slowly moving to second. The thought of baseball made me remember the classic Abbott and Costello routine,which caused me to burst out laughing. This seemed like a bit of a turn off for her.
After about five minutes I managed to calm myself down and wipe away my tears.
"So where were we?" I asked.
"Right about here," she said as she climbed on top of me. I don't need to go into details as to what happened next,but I assure you it was somewhere between three-and-a-half hours to eleven seconds of pure ecstasy.
When I awoke the next morning she was gone. I searched the apartment in hopes of finding her making me a sandwich, but all that remained was her scent. I never did see her again, but the night that we shared together was one that I will never forget. It almost made up for the fact that she robbed me.
